Love is kind.

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

So which one of the qualities of love in this passage is the hardest for you?

This one is my hardest. I am usually friendly and loving to my family members, but I am at risk of becoming unkind under pressure. Earlier in 1 Corinthians, Paul writes,

...if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Just a few paragraphs after Jesus instructs his followers so simply to "always treat others as you would like them to treat you" (Matthew 7:12), He makes a statement which has struck me so profoundly these past months:

"It is not anyone who says to me, "Lord, Lord," who will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but the person who does the will of my Father in heaven. When the day comes many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, drive out demons in your name, work many miracles in your name?' Then I shall tell them to their faces: I have never known you; away from me, all evil doers!' Therefore, everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a sensible man who built his house on rock." (Matthew 7:21-24)

The remarkable concept here is that, as much as we may (or may not) demonstrate these charismatic gifts of the spirit~~prophesy, miracles, etc.~~it doesn't matter! This is not the end all, be all of our relationship with God and Jesus says straight out that we might do all these things but miss the simple point of it all, which is to love our neighbor as ourselves and to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Whoa.

And love is kind.

Simply pondering this passage over the past week for this blog has caused me to check my behavior when I find myself beginning to simmer with dissatisfaction. My human nature often longs to satisfy itself by being right and putting down the little creatures at my feet who can never get enough of my love and attention. Often, I might long for consolations, graces~~Catholic terminology for the "good stuff you get" during prayer, but that can be a spiritually dangerous place if I am permitting my own tongue to go unchecked. "Faith without works is dead," says James. He also writes these telling lines in chapter 3:

2If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and saltwater flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

I hereby publicly resolve to resort to kindness instead of rudeness when I get mad. (yikes!!)

Love is patient.

I had the opportunity to spend the evening with some friends from our old church a couple nights ago. Facebook has proven invaluable for keeping in touch with everyone but in no way does that make up for the physical loss of being in their presence on a consistent basis.

On top of that, this particular church from our past is very healthy for the most part (I say "for the most part" because, even though I never really saw a dark "underbelly," nothing's perfect supposedly ;) and quite secure and sound financially, administratively, etc.

When I believed God was truly calling us to be Catholic, I balked. I attended Mass and the first thing I said when I got home was, "Nope, that's not it, honey. I'm Protestant all the way." I wanted my happy place. My friendships. My comfort zone.

God's word reveals Himself to us as all these qualities we are focusing on these next several weeks~~and God is patient. God waited patiently for us but He did not stick around for us in that other church. For us, the pillar of fire, so to speak, had moved. We may have wanted to stay in our former church but He had already gone somewhere else and was patiently waiting for us there. We couldn't deny it anymore. We followed Him over there and knew it was where He wanted us, but I have found it hard to be patient with this process at times.

Being Catholic is not the problem. In fact, it is a great homecoming, a relief, a gift to perpetually and eternally open~~I am so happy with and thankful for that part. But it is also challenging to be in an entirely new community of believers and patiently wait for relationships to grow. It cannot be forced, in spite of me being a generally gregarious person.

Another major change for us is the structure of the Catholic Church. When we arrived, the priest of the last ten years at our parish was on his way to a new position and the new priest, an entirely different type of person, arrived. Except, in the Catholic Church, when you have been a priest for 25 years, you take a sabbatical. There are no "ifs, ands, or buts" about it. It's a time for rejuvenation, reflection, and so on, and our priest's 25 year anniversary happened about 6 months after he arrived at our parish.

So he is gone now and we have a couple new priests handling everything, and in another month and a half, one of them will leave and a new one might arrive but no one really knows who. All this is happening in the middle of some serious financial difficulties for our parish and, while there is leadership (one of the priests is a clear administrator and is amply handling all aspects of parish life), if feels like there isn't. It's just to be expected after this much change and transition~~emotionally, we are experiencing impermanence which will not be resolved for quite awhile.

But this brings me to my point, which is that there is, in spite of all this, a huge amount of grace being poured into the process. The people of the parish do not have a lot of control over who's at the helm. This is much different from where we came from as Protestants, where the church is a self-contained organization that doesn't have to answer to a higher level of authority. And trust me~~I can see the allure of that and the benefits and all that good stuff.

But rocking along on the waves of our current situation fills me with gratitude because I see how God is still in charge of it all. Patience is a big part of this process. I am humbled by my human longings for resolution, stability, and the straightforward~~and yet in no way does God rely on these qualities in order to do His work in us. He is incredibly patient with us~~and this process is giving me an opportunity to practice being patient with Him.

I am starting to see more clearly how being patient is a way of proving "I love You."

Pursuing love

I spent the last few days exceptionally grumpy, and I'm still not exactly sure why. This grumpiness culminated in a temper tantrum, during which I de-cluttered my house over and over again, grumbling about the endlessness of it all and my seeming inability to complete basic tasks.

The postcard on my fridge fell off for the hundredth time, one with a paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13 ("Love is patient, love is kind, etc."), which I swept up off the floor and~~with a flourish~~deliberately crumpled and threw in the trash.

(In my defense, it was getting pretty beat up and didn't get much attention anymore~~clearly, as demonstrated by my behavior.)

Thankfully, this all happened on a Saturday~~Confession day! I love Confession. This sacrament has a terrible reputation~~as though it is some sort of guilt-induced, self-inflicted punishment or get-out-of-hell-free card. On the contrary, I see it as an opportunity to acknowledge and repent of one's failings, receive an action plan (in the form of penance), and be reconciled with the Lord who calls for us to be perfect. It is an encounter with Christ and an invisible yet tangible cleansing of the soul.

I entered the Confessional with little clarity...I carried such weight in me, angry but not really clear about why...confused and longing for peace. In spite of all this, my intimacy with Christ has been intensely felt recently, adding further to my confusion and causing me to suspect I was being escapist in my daily life.

The priest and I discussed all this for awhile, and I can't say that any major clarity came out of the conversation except that big question he asked from Genesis~~"Why are you so angry?" which began a rooting-out process. And then the funny part~~"For your penance, I want you to go back to the Mass readings from two Sundays ago and read the selection from 1 Corinthians 13."

Hee, ha, ho. The Holy Spirit is NOT without a sense of humor. "Why, funny you mention that. I threw that very passage out today!" (blush)

Thus, when I noticed a meme circulating the blog world which got started a couple weeks ago, I decided to participate. It is called "Pursuing Love" (hosted by Marsha's Musings) and will focus on this passage from 1 Corinthians 13. Clearly, this passage is following me around and I'm looking forward to spending more time with it~~refrigerator card notwithstanding.

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Candles and throats

Earlier this week, we celebrated what was traditionally called Candlemas or the Feast of the Purification of the Blessed Virgin and is now known more commonly as the Feast of the Presentation of Christ in the Temple. Father Steve began Mass by blessing candles at the baptismal font and then we each received one and lit one to another.

According to the Roman Missal the celebrant after Terce, in stole and cope of purple colour, standing at the epistle side of the altar, blesses the candles (which must be of beeswax). Having sung or recited the five orations prescribed, he sprinkles and incenses the candles. Then he distributes them to the clergy and laity, whilst the choir sings the canticle of Simeon, "Nunc dimittis."... The solemn procession represents the entry of Christ, who is the Light of the World, into the Temple of Jerusalem.

In celebration of St. Blaise's feast day, these candles are then used to bless the throats of the congregants later in the week. Bethany was so precious during the blessing. The candles were crossed under her throat and she pulled her little head in like a turtle, not quite sure what was happening to her. I hope my friend Kelly will post in the comments about her son's story regarding St. Blaise's prayerful intercession for her family!

Since the kids were at school, we brought home candles and blessed their throats at the dinner table.

Back to blogging

I'm excited to be online again. Thanks for visiting!

Unexpected weekend plans

Unexpected new plans for the weekend involving plane trips, possible airport camping, and sudden weekend loss....and now that I have vented inwardly, I shall determine to anticipate the gifts contained therein.

I am so longing for Jesus in the Eucharist...That my Lord would disguise His glory so accessibly in simple bread and wine, yet completely captivate my heart and soul~~I am  heartbroken that I cannot receive Him tomorrow morning as I had hoped.

This is a good time to share with you the prayer for spiritual communion, which you can make at any time or place and which brings many graces:

Lord Jesus, I believe that You are truly present in the Blessed Sacrament. I love You above all things and I long for You in my soul. Since I cannot now receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. As though You have already come, I embrace you and unite myself entirely to You. Never permit me to be separated from You.

Now, go find yourself a tabernacle and sit with Him for awhile. See you in a couple days.

Following the rules to freedom

Today I attended a glorious Mass at my children's new school with one of my favorite priests whose homilies always plunge me into deep reflection. This particular time, he took advantage of the opportunity to include precious young input by asking the children, "Why do we have rules?" My summarizing gives the wrong impression, as though he put this tritely as grown-ups so often do with young children. Actually, this priest is very intellectual and if you don't pay close attention to the ebbs and flows of his thought process, you will lose out on its many complexities and cadences. I felt pleased that he extended this gift to the children at Mass. Also, in this case, he was referring to the Code of Canon Law, not necessarily traffic laws.

The children responded with equally deep thoughts. One young man in first grade or so responded with, "To help us become better people." Wow! My own 2nd grader answered, "To tell us how to act." There were other answers, all of which were reasonable, but that first one I mentioned held the key to Father's message, which was (I think): God gave us laws not to squelch our freedom but to cause our freedom. This type of concept takes a leap of not only faith but action.

I hope you will forgive me for now turning to somewhat grown-up subject matter as I ponder this concept. A good example is Jesus' clarification of the commandment to never commit adultery. Jesus states that even thinking about another person lustfully is a form of adultery~~it's not just about adulterous actions. The message is, if you are thinking about someone lustfully, do whatever you can to stop thinking that way. He uses examples like "cut off your hand if you need to," or whatever body part is causing you to sin. A pastor once used this as a reference to masturbation, which never once occurred to me until then but certainly makes sense.

So, many people, Christians included, might not take this very seriously. What is the harm in thinking lustfully, one might ask, or even masturbating, if one is not actually committing adultery? This is one of those times when obedience to a law is an opportunity for freedom rather than a cause for complaint. It takes a leap of faith. Our human minds can find endless justification for thoughts and actions that don't seem to cause any harm to others and, therefore, must be a-okay. But what if there is freedom on the other side of this lust? What if, rather than trying to annihilate our "sexuality" and "humanity," this law gives us an opportunity to further blossom into the individual we were created to be, liberated from the desires which control us to the point of temptation and possible sinning?