Happy anniversary to us!

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 1

Tomorrow's the big day! And have you ever had one of those weeks, months, years where you barely have time to breathe, let alone connect on a heart level and really BE with each other? Really communicate? It's been like that lately. I'm so thankful Alex has the day off tomorrow so we can enjoy each others' company.

I had a lovely memory today about our daughter Bethany's birth.

All our births have been blessedly straightforward, with pain that I could manage without medication. With Bethany, we planned a homebirth as we had with Wolf and the twins.

This time, however, it didn't feel so straightforward. The pregnancy challenged me like little else has...and this was an uncomplicated pregnancy, with few issues to write of.

I desperately wanted labor to start. In fact, I did everything I could think of to try to kick start it as soon as I was one minute into my 37th week, while also being terrified that something would go wrong. Clinical experiences had changed my perception of childbirth into something far more fearful than I had known it to be before. I won't go into it here, but these experiences with other women had deeply humbled me.

Finally, on my original due date (smile), Alex went back to work after taking the prior week off. We thought for sure I would have been in labor that week but we were now at risk of losing his time off after the birth if we kept up with that practice. Our twins' birth took two and a half hours and it takes Alex a good while to get in a position to leave work and get home so we had been playing it safe.

That night, labor began fast and furious. WHAM! Contractions did not gradually build. I contacted my midwife and Alex and they both left to get home in time. I felt like such a baby. It hurt SO BAD!! I couldn't get comfortable. My back was killing me. I thought of all the classes I had taught about laboring on hands and knees in order to remove pressure from the back and realized I was wrong, wrong, wrong. At least, in my case. The only thing that helped for a few brief moments at a time was to straighten myself out, even to the point of bending backwards, what little I could.

I felt so alone. All the kids were asleep, for which I was grateful, because at one point Zoya woke up to use the bathroom and I offered to let her sleep on the bathroom floor if only she would stay in there with me. She looked at me like I was crazy and went back to bed. (Um, yeah, that doesn't sound so good to me either!)

Alex and our midwife showed up at the same time~~such a relief. I kept hearing Zoya's voice in my head reciting her Bible verses. "Come unto me and I will give you rest."

With all our past births, I didn't want any "hands on" care. I didn't need massage or back rubs or even close proximity. I wanted space. This time around, I tried draping myself over the birth ball (it had worked in the past) and I wanted to stab it. The only possible place that would provide any comfort would be Alex's lap. I just needed him.

I draped myself over his lap and he rubbed my back. Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Thankfully, she was born shortly after that. That time with Alex was my one moment of peace during her birth. As her head crowned, I remember yelling at everyone, "Is she out? IS SHE OUT?" I had no clue what was happening and I was very scared.

But I knew my happy place. :)

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 2

What to say? Today, I have officially qualified as a "clanging cymbal" with my hubby. I'm sorry. :(

I.

Was.

Wrong.

Okay, there you have it. Sigh. I like to think these words just flow from my lips when necessary, but that is not the case at all. As Laurel Wreath's post put it last month, these three words are the hardest in the English language.

Now, if only I could say them in person.

Sometimes, marriage is hard.

NOTE: Since writing this post, I have said them in person. (Okay, over the phone.) Still hard. Still powerful.

1 Corinthians 13

¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 3

I'm totally cheating...it's 5:30 in the morning on Sunday but let's pretend it's really late Saturday and I didn't just crash next to Alex on the couch in exhaustion. I am capable of living for long periods of time without a lot of sleep but yesterday I reached a pinnacle of weariness and it culminated with a rather pathetic collapse on the couch. My blog countdown is a little off track (which probably no one on this entire planet cares about except me).

I have so much appreciation for the ways that Alex has enriched my life. I think I have always been rather cerebral in my explorations of the world whereas Alex has a flair for adventure and seeking out those unique experiences that add such flavor to life. Here are a few examples.

1) Lounging in an outdoor jacuzzi in the snow in Lake Tahoe.

Possibly many of my dear readers have had this experience but it never would have occurred to me to get into a bathing suit and sit in a jacuzzi outside while it snows. Thanks to Alex, I have this memory of the snow starting to drift upon us while we lounged in a jacuzzi on our honeymoon. It is such a lovely memory that we even have a phrase for it in our house: "Jacuzzi weather." I'm not sure what the definition is, but we know it when we feel it.

2) Getting our marriage license in East LA.

As we approached a supermercado with the intention of buying some snacks, I wandered around the front door for several moments wondering where the front door was. Alex laughed at me and walked right in. He seems to have this inherent cross-cultural appreciation and awareness that helps him to recognize these things while I walk around feeling rather ridiculously white and uncultured.

3) Watching practically any movie that takes place in western Europe.

Me: "Ooh, that's beautiful."

Alex: "Hey! I've been there!"

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 4

Thanks to Mount Redoubt's eruption yesterday, my husband had some impromptu time at home due to his very weather-dependent work. So countdown post #5 was bypassed in favor of "real-life" time. :)

As for today, I don't need any words to explain these photos...other than, "Yes, he really did paint her toenails with a marker." xoxoxoxoxoxo

Why I Love My Husband

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 6

Less than a week to go before our anniversary! In spite of blogging about my man every day for the last two weeks, it's still sneaking up on me!

Tonight I want to say thank you to my husband for encouraging me spiritually. He doesn't go down in the doldrums with me. He reads me Scripture and reminds me of the truth.

There's a decision facing us but it's not close enough to decide for at least another couple years. Sometimes, I get all wrapped up thinking about it and it's a big enough issue (career-path-related) that I feel I need to rehash all the pros and cons and hope that Alex can just make the decision for me so that I/we don't have to. This, of course, doesn't happen because it's too soon to do so and life might look different at that point.

So last week I started doing this again while driving in the car. He reminded me of a verse (which he happened to have in the car with us) that made a meaningful difference in my perspective:

⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4

What stood out to me in this particular instance of rereading the familiar verse was that it doesn't promise "God will give you exactly what you're praying for." It says that "[God's peace]... will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus." And that this transcends all understanding.

I just can't see the big picture today. Who can? Who can see large enough and far enough into the past and future to understand exactly the right decision at every moment? Only God, not me. I don't even know what to pray for but that God's peace will guard my heart and mind. That, I can count on.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 7

Interview with the Children, Part 2

Question: What makes you proud of your dad?

Z: "When he kisses me!"
W: "When he pushes me on the swing so high that I feel like the swing is going to flip over!"
P: "Me too!"

Q: What do you and your dad do together?

W: "Watch Clone Wars."
P: "Play Transformers and Legos."
Z: "Go to the park."

Q: How do you know dad loves you?

Z: "He kisses me a lot."
W: "He tickles me."
P: "He says I love you so much."

Q: What is daddy's favorite food?

P: "Quesadilla with spicies." (that would be red pepper flakes :)
W and Z: "Cereal!"

Q: What is your dad really good at?

Z: "He's really good at juggling."
W: "He's really good at working."
P: "He's really good at playing games."

Q: What does your dad love most about your mom?

Z: "Because you guys kiss each other?"
W: "I don't know."
P: "Because mommy loves me."

Blank slates called fairy tales

Zoya and I spent a pleasant hour at the used bookstore the other day shopping for classic children's literature, the rare 5 or 6 copies there that are not abridged or an altered version of the original. My most exciting find was a copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales. (On Zoya's end, she found a copy of a Richard Scarry board book. :) I read with great interest the story of the Brothers Grimm in the introduction to this particular copy. I had no idea that they intended this collection as a documentation of German folklore throughout history. I was under the mistaken impression that they had imagined these themselves.

Unlike Anderson, the Grimms did not invent new tales but collected old ones, with the intention of preserving the oral tradition of the German peasantry. Whether or not they fulfilled that intention has been questioned... Beginning this work as both a study of the German language and an attempt to document the customs of the German people, the brothers collected their folktales by mining a variety of sources, including peasants and lower-class people, nannies and servants, educated young women from upper-middle-class and aristocratic families, and accounts in books and magazines. Grimm's Fairy Tales, notes by Elizabeth Dalton.

In time, the stories were noted for their common motifs which arise cross culturally throughout the ages. Also, the graphic nature of the stories met with resistance and pressure to clean them up as children became the popular audience, which they themselves had little interest in doing ("the innocence...of a straightforward narrative that does not conceal anything wrong by holding back on it") yet ultimately accommodated (who knew that Rapunzel noticed her clothes getting tighter at one point?).

I delved in last night with "The Frog Prince," anxious to see how graphic and lurid these tales can be. You know the story, right? A young maiden finds a frog and gets talked into kissing him out of her great compassion. Turns out, he's a prince who transforms back into human form so they can live happily ever after.

Wrong I was. I've always found simultaneous chagrin and enjoyment, as I have written before, in observing the changes that happen to literature as it gets "re-presented," so to speak, to the modern day. In the Grimm brothers' version, the young girl plays near a cool stream with a golden ball. This was her "favorite amusement...when she felt dull," except this time, the ball rolls away into a fountain. She laments loudly, at which point a very ugly frog appears and begins talking with her. She promises him her companionship, table, and bed in exchange for her ball. She promises it all while inwardly planning that he will "remain in the water with his equals."

He fetches the ball; she leaves him there. Day after day the frog arrives at the door of the castle and she gets so disturbed that she ultimately tells her father about their exchange. He holds her to her word. She reluctantly invites the frog to dinner and then into her room where she presumes he will sleep in the corner. The frog begins pressuring her to "take [him] up." She becomes so disgusted that she "[throws] him with all her strength against the wall." He transforms into a handsome prince at which point they develop a deep friendship and then love for one another.

There are so many interesting and rich elements to this version: her scheming personality and reluctant obedience, the pressure from her father and the frog, and their ultimate success in establishing a relationship. Apparently, the frog prince's former butler was so loyal that he had bound his heart in metal bands when his former master had been turned into a toad, so as the prince and the princess are driving away with him, they hear the snapping sounds of the bands breaking on "trusty Henry's" heart. I love the way she throws the frog with all her might.

This is a far cry from the pitying young woman who kisses the poor amphibian by the lakeside, as though a maiden can only be compassionate when attending to the sexual needs of something (even a frog's). Interestingly, a second translation of Grimm presents a much different story: she permits the frog to sleep with her three nights in a row, at which point she wakes up to find a prince gazing upon her. No frog slaughter at all.

When I read this version, I see a redemptive story here for both the young man and woman (this could just be my worldview shining through...smile). Their individual characters are the main focus of the story~~their inner motivations and shortcomings. I can hear all my former complaints about the patriarchal structures in place here which render her helpless to make her own decisions. She is forced to choose her follow-through by her father and will certainly not make idle promises in the future that she doesn't intend to keep.

This kind of thing would have driven me crazy in the past. I have found myself relaxing when I encounter these controlling family structures in literature. It is reasonable for a father to encourage his daughter to take her oaths seriously. It is reality, on the other hand, that fathers and men have forced daughters and women to do all sorts of things until relatively recently in history and in only certain places. (I am thinking of a recent article from Pakistan in which several girls were shot and buried alive for wanting to choose their husbands.)

Just because it's there doesn't make it a promotion. Removing these elements is like trying to remove the reality. Removing Rapunzel's tightening clothes from the story removes the humanity, the consequences, the sexuality, the temptation, or however else you want to look at it, for better or for worse. We all have our interpretations but keeping Rapunzel's true life invisible does not permit anyone to see her wholly.

Reading "Snow White" later that night left me with the feeling that the evil stepmother has its guaranteed place in the Disney movie but at the expense of the inner process of the "heroine," if you can call her that. Snow White is severely gullible to a fault. She gets duped again and again in spite of the excellent advice she receives from the Dwarfs. In these two stories, the world revolves around the outer beauty of the maiden, yet the narration centers on her inner process, which may, indeed, turn out to fail. She rather arbitrarily survives her own incredible stupidity. And it is not, in fact, because she is saved by the kiss of a prince. Far from it. How in the heck did Snow White ever qualify as a Disney Princess?

I think it will be easier to teach my daughters (God help me!) to be "shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves" (Matthew 10:16) with Grimm's version rather than Disney's. The Grimm brothers hash out her character flaws rather well. It will also be interesting to talk to Wolfgang and Psalm about just what this prince had to do to become an ugly and imprisoned toad. Have you noticed how the male characters in the Disney reenactment are perfect and lovely? All they need to do is show up and "kiss the girl" and they do their job. I love how "trusty Henry" attests to a serious fall on behalf of his master who led to his state of degredation.

Just food for thought...would love to hear your take on reading Grimm with children.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 8

Interview with the Children, Part 1

Per the recently popular circulating email wherein we mothers interview our children, I thought I'd ask the kids some questions about Daddy and post them here so that he can find out what they really think about him. :)

Question: What is something Dad always says to you?

Zoya: "I love you."
Wolf: "Same as what Zoya said."
Psalm: "That he loves me."

Q: What makes Dad happy?

Z: "When we obey him."
W: "When we obey him."
P: "By saying 'I love you.'"

Q: What makes Dad sad?

Z: "When we don't obey him."
W: "When we don't obey him."
P: "By saying bad words to him."

Q: How does Dad make you laugh?

(Altogether in unison): When he tickles me!

Q: How old is your dad?

All: 31!

Q: How tall?

W: "Hmm. Really tall."
Z and P: "I don't know."

Q: What is Dad's favorite TV show?

W and Z: "Star Wars Clone Wars"
P: "Baseball"

Q: What does Dad do when you're not around?

Z: "I think he watches TV and does stuff with Mama and plays with Bethany."
P: "He plays."
W: "He works when he's at work."

Q: If Dad becomes famous, what will it be for?

W: "Being the best worker he can be."
P: "Being a rock star."
Z: "Being a movie star."

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 9

Being that a VOLCANO ERUPTED (!!!!!!), I didn't quite get to my blog last night. So here's a hasty one rendered in the midst of breakfast preparation and all that good stuff:

I'M SO GLAD ALEX ISN'T STUCK AT WORK INDEFINITELY BECAUSE OF THE VOLCANIC ERUPTION!!!

:)

In the meantime, we are getting on with the day until advised otherwise. The ash is not falling over our neck of the woods at this time.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 10

Ten more days! There's so much I want to write here. My husband has been working like a crazy man, staying late at work and taking extra shifts. I am going to brag here that I don't think he's ever been late to work once. He has an excellent work ethic.

On the other hand, he can drop everything at home when necessary and just relax with the family and give us his time and attention.

He takes the time to talk to each one of the kids when he calls at bedtime, while they talk on and on about all sorts of things. Like Psalm tonight:

"Hi Dad! When you get home, will you come in and snuggle with us? Snuggle me first, Dad. (Where did we go again, Mom?) We went to the Natural History museum today! And we had really yummy soup! And it had soy sauce in it! And we're in our jammies. And Wolf is reading a book to us. And the baby is not crying at all and is really happy. And...here you go, Dad. Here's Wolf."

:)

I've noticed that, once his days off arrive, I want to lean on him completely. It's easy to fall into that when there's another grown-up in the house. But he probably wants to relax too. Hmm.

My hubby is a selfless giver and a very patient person. Especially with me!!!

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 11

When Alex and I got into our first full-blown fight, I learned a major lesson from my husband.

Frankly, I had not entered into our marriage with a proper understanding of it. In my mind, marriage was a contract, not a covenant.

My pastor has written about this and I've been studying it lately, this idea of the difference between a covenant and a contract. A covenant is relationship-centered and permanent. A contract has escape clauses and an end-point. The emphasis is on conditions and obligations.

When my husband and I got into this fight, I ended up yelling something along the lines of, "When this kid turns 18, I'm out of here!!"

It was shortly after our reconciliation that I l saw how different our concepts of marriage were. In his mind, our marriage was a lifelong covenant; in mine, it was going to last as long as it was "still good."

Certainly while saying my vows, it wasn't that I didn't anticipate our marriage lasting or that I wasn't entering into it with reverence and awe. But it took this particular event to see that my heart was off-base and needed changing in order that our marriage be all it could be.

I have always appreciated him calling me on that particular comment. It could have just been left alone as we apologized and got back to life as normal, but there were huge gifts to be found in him bringing it back out.

Three months later, more direction and discernment

When we began homeschooling, I started with some materials that had been recommended by families I know and love. "Five in a Row," for instance, has been valuable to us; I came to appreciate Konos as well and love the ideas in books such as The Wholehearted Child. I balked at buying a full-blown curriculum such as Sonlight. I am still in the process of looking into math curricula. We are practicing math skills and application but I plan to acquire a program such as Singapore or Right Start in the near future.

My friend Kathleen recently blogged that she found our homeschooling methods to be like an "unschooling approach," so I started wondering if that was the case. I never expected to be an unschooler and don't consider myself one. Now that I'm looking at definitions, which are very hard to come by when attempting to define "unschooling," I suppose it might fit. But I have intended to develop a schedule and plan for my children's education and think that may oppose the idea of unschooling. Schedules and plans are my friends, as far as I'm concerned, and I'm not really a fan of complete and total child-directed or delight-directed education. Were that the case, my son would spend every waking moment thinking about Transformers and Star Wars.

Reading the ideas of Charlotte Mason helped me to realize what we were missing. Firstly, it encouraged me in the furthering of our preferred schedule, which includes shorter bursts of time per subject in a way that maintains interest and takes into account the natural energy of a wiggly young man.

Secondly, she wrote about giving the child ideas rather than facts and allowing the child's mind to develop and discover connections within and between material.

Thirdly, it gave voice to my frustration that the materials we were working with were not exposing my children to enough of the great literature that has survived the ages. Mason believed that children were able to meet the challenge of more rigorous material rather than what she labeled "twaddle," or literature and materials deliberately dumbed down to be more "childlike." She observed that children had a huge reserve of often untapped potential because adults treated them like an empty can to be filled rather than a dynamic, thinking person.

I have long believed that to be the case. Anyone who has taken the time to talk and listen to children and encourage them to think cannot help but be impressed with their actual personhood. It takes discipline to shut up and let the child think and speak. How many adults do you know who don't bother waiting for a child to answer a question before they are answering for the child or leading them to an answer with a follow-up question? It's easy to do, and I'm not saying I don't do it, but I try not to. It can be hard! I appreciate reading more of Mason's writings because it affirms these intentions and brings them more into the forefront.

I decided to jump right in and use the Ambleside curriculum, while incorporating Konos unit studies into our afternoons when weather does not permit us the hours outside for physical activity and nature study suggested by Charlotte Mason. We have only used it for a week thus far but it has been a refreshing change for the better! Our homeschooling is more purposeful and principled and Wolfgang is interacting with the literature. It is exciting to see him respond to it with his own creative participation. I am using the level 1 schedule and booklist right now but will be using level 2 as soon as I feel we have "caught up" with the level 1 booklist, as they are wonderful books which I am glad to be reading with him.

We have decided to study German for our foreign language study. Both Alex and I studied it in high school and my mother comes from Germany and speaks it fluently. It seemed a "safe" start and the children are responding very positively to it and having a lot of fun with the words we're using. Grandma's going to start getting phone calls soon so we can check pronunciation, so heads up. :)

We are simply loving Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories. My own copy is packed up in a box in our garage, for which I kick myself. I am floored that the copy I put on hold via the library's online catalog is an edition with new illustrations which are rather terrible and don't have the original captions by Kipling! Forgive me for sounding so snobby but there are some things you just don't mess with!! The illustrations with captions are, like, 50% of the enjoyment of the story! Bah.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 12

One thing I have always found astonishing~~and still do, to this day~~is Alex's ability to be completely loving when he is woken up from sleep, which is rather often in our busy house. I find it remarkable that a well-meaning wife or child can pounce on top of him in the midst of deep slumber and he will smile and say something encouraging. It's almost fun to wake him up just to experience it! (yep, I admit it, honey) :) And then he can go right back to sleep. I don't relate at all~~my mother will tell you that she practically wore a shield and armed herself when trying to encourage me from my reading chair to my bed as a teenager when I had fallen asleep in the wee hours. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..........

:)

Thanks for always being so kind, honey.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 13

One quality which has blessed our lives is Alex's natural organizational skills. My "trying to get out of the house" method used to look something like this:

• Announce it's time to get out of the house
• Begin watching 1-4 children of varying ages head to the doorway over a fifteen minute period
• Start collecting items that need to go into some sort of a carrying device
• Check in on children as they dig around through shoes and toys
• Start disappearing into closet in order to find shoes (once in Alaska, dig around for quadruple pairs of gloves, hats, snow outfits, jackets, etc.)
• Finally get children into car. Grab bag. Throw in granola bars (at kids, if bag has already made it into car).
• Turn car back around one or two times after leaving to return home and retrieve forgotten items prior to ever making it out of town
• Etc.

I write "1-4 kids" because sometime in the earlier years of the twins' lives, I started realizing that my husband's way of doing things is almost always better than mine when it comes to tasks involving organization. Organization comes naturally to Alex. I have learned a ton while watching him practice efficiency with situations like the one I have described~~that formidable task of getting kids out the door.

It struck me that my hubby never had the same kind of stress I did when leaving the house when the kids were younger. He would do such revolutionary preparations such as:

• Line up shoes
• Check the backpack and keep it simply packed so that such checking does not resemble the eruption of a small, household volcano each and every time (smile)
• Put things away in the same place, and remind kids to do so, so that he and they can find it the next time
• Pack a snack bag, one that even (get this) includes a travel trashbag
• Repeat the same system; tweak when necessary
• Etc.

Soon, I was lining up shoes and the whole shebang. It worked! I realized, "Hmm, Alex has this way of getting the kids out the door which is so much less creative than mine, but look at how happy they are!" Another thing was how willing he was to do it because it didn't turn into a crazed period of lunacy on either his part or the kids. Ding! (lightbulb turning on)

Since then, the children have all grown older and more self-sufficient and another baby has joined the family. My efficiency feels once more in disarray in many ways but I am reminded of my husband's natural proclivities and wanted to reaffirm them once again.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 14

Missed a day of blogging due to real-life quality time with my hubby last night. :) Back later.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 15

My darling husband has become wounded several times in the course of our marriage. The first time was the scariest. He had taken Noah across the street to the park at night when we lived in California. When Alex walked back into the house with blood dripping down his face, my whole world came momentarily crashing down. Noah wasn't behind him. I immediately assumed the worst~~Noah had been kidnapped by hoodlums while Alex unsuccessfully beat them off, getting bloodied in the process.

We lived in a one-story condo with a long, overgrown pathway. Within a moment, Noah came walking back in as well, completely indifferent to his stepfather's damaged nose. Turns out, Alex had been playing tag with Noah and slammed right into a bar, one of those yellow ones that becomes invisible in the moonlight. Alex had crushed right through the top of his nose and was able to squirt blood out of the hole while pinching his nostrils. Quite gross! :P

Another time, Alex sliced his head open on a guitar string. The guitar was on the bed, he jumped onto it backwards while playing with the kids, and we ended up going to the urgent care facility. He's so tough. He just sat there, nonchalantly getting his head stitched up. I tried to be supportive but after a half hour of watching this, I began to feel woozy.

Alex has literally bled for the family. He puts his heart and soul into playing with children. He takes them outside even when it's 20 below. I love that about him.

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 16

A fun fact about my husband:

He can cook better than anyone I know. In fact, he'd probably make a great Iron Chef because he is creative and organized under pressure. He is the very best person to look at what remaining ingredients are left in the kitchen before a shopping trip and come up with a few random meals that are better than any we could have planned. He is also very patient with the children in the kitchen, which is even more astonishing because there's really only room for one person in our kitchen at a time and yet, they all manage to fit. :)

My "military life"

L~ and I each wrote for the high school newspaper staff. We got along and enjoyed each others' company, although we never got to know each other very well. We did not stay in touch the entire time from when she graduated high school ahead of me more than 10 years ago.

Then, the most remarkable thing happened. Our family moved to Alaska and ultimately to the town we're in now. Within a short period of time, I received a message from L~ on Myspace, inquiring whether it was, in fact, me. I clicked to her page and saw that she lived in the same small Alaskan town as we did. WHAT?! I couldn't believe it.

Turns out, her husband is in the Air Force and they had been stationed here for awhile. We got together and had a great time playing as often as we could. Her son and our children became friends. We got to know each other much better than we ever had in high school.

Sadly, the time came when they had to move to a different base. On one hand, I felt downcast because we had become good friends. On the other, I felt as though we had been gifted with this rare and unexpected opportunity to rekindle and grow our friendship in this small town in Alaska. Especially with Facebook and email, it will not be hard to keep in touch and we have been doing a pretty good job of it.

Living in the midst of many military families, there are always new people moving in and, on the not-so-shiny flipside, families moving out. I have another dear friend named K~ who is in the process of moving as we speak. She is leaving for the east coast and her husband is leaving for Iraq for a year. I am simply devastated. (Like I have any right to be. My husband, as my sappy blogs attest, is home safe and sound on a regular basis.)

With L~, I know I can't complain. Of course I wish she and her darling family (which is growing, by the way!) still lived here, but we got bonus time. I didn't think I'd ever see her again one way or the other, and now we have a lasting friendship. My other friend who is moving is the kind of friend whom I would consider one of my very best, except that we haven't had enough time to get to know each other and be together. I just love her dearly and can't imagine not being able to cultivate our friendship in person. So BOO. Pffffffffbbbbbtbtbtbtbtbbtbt. And hmphf.

K~, I already miss you so much. I will now spend as much time as I can convincing you to open a Facebook account so I can leave goofy notes on your wall and silly pieces of flair on your corkboard and send a smile your way as often as possible.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 17

Within a few months of getting married, Alex and I conceived Wolfgang. Wolfgang was born at 35 weeks very unexpectedly due to a serious bacterial infection.

It was clear when he was born that he was severely compromised. His little body was grey and limp. He took a very long time to resuscitate and then spent several days on ventilation until he was strong enough to breathe on his own.

This was entirely different from what we had been planning. We had been planning a homebirth and had no indication that anything was wrong with him until he quit moving on Wednesday, which I didn't really notice until late Wednesday night. Then, I woke up early Thursday in advanced stages of labor and he was born quickly within a couple hours.

Wolfgang's illness was the first challenge Alex and I had had to face as a couple. We felt strong together and I appreciated Alex's confidence that Wolf would pull through and that he was being strong enough for both of us. I know this time with Wolf in the NICU was one of the hardest times of Alex's life. This was his first child whom he loved fiercely, yet the hospital staff was very protective as well and wouldn't let us hold him until he had stabilized, which took days.

I'm not sure there is anything more rugged and sexy than a man fighting for his tiny infant. I fell in love with him and Wolfgang a thousand times all over again during those 11 days.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 18

Alex and I married in our soon-to-be home just prior to moving into it. It had a huge living room that faced a fireplace and our family set up aisles of chairs, lighting the whole place solely by candlelight. It was a lot different from what we had originally envisioned, a wedding on the beach in Del Mar. But we were young, broke, and rather quickly marrying after a short engagement after an even shorter period of knowing each other and opted to do a local wedding. My family was still in shock as it was. Del Mar was the last place on their minds!

So much generosity from family and friends made it even more beautiful than I expected it to be, especially from my mother-in-law Vicki who decked the house out in flowers. We had food from the Spot in Hermosa Beach, all vegan, and an amazing (and very unvegan) cake which was wearing gorgeous flowers as well.

I spent that day in a pensive anticipation. I got my nails and hair done. My best friend Candace came over and helped me get dressed at my parents' house with my mom. I just remember feeling like I HAVE TO FIND MY ALEX AND MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM AND THEN I WILL BE OKAY!! But he was being kept in seclusion until the ceremony itself.

FINALLY it was time to walk down the aisle, which I did with my father and stepfather on either side~~what I had always hoped for. I craned my head around as soon as I walked in the door until I found Alex and there he was! We made eye contact, I exhaled, and all was very, very well.

Naturally, this blog would be more "effective" and "compelling" if I had a picture or two to post. I don't have a scanner so that will have to wait until I get around to it. :)

From block of snow to impressive sculpture~~wow!

Here's a link to the annual Fur Rondy snow sculpture competition.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 19

Alex and I got engaged in Belmont Shore right after the boat parade. It was a beautiful evening and I had let loose subtle hints beforehand that it would be just the right place to propose (yes, very tacky). However, we were both of the conviction that a proposal wouldn't do without a wedding ring. Thus, I felt certain the boat parade was out of the running as a possible proposal-location candidate due to a simple lack of time.

Besides, we were standing next to very loud, drunk people.

As we walked back over a bridge, my soon-to-be fiance got down on one knee! I remember being shocked! And I literally had the thought~~and possibly said it aloud~~"How could this happen right now? We don't have rings!" And he slipped a gorgeous ring on my finger.

He's crafty, I tell ya.

Gentle rains and rumbling thunder

This morning, like every morning, my daughter Zoya descended blurry-eyed down the stairs and onto the couch. She almost always wakes up first and we snuggle under the blanket together to grab a few minutes of cuddles before the rest of the family comes down.

She loves to read so she picked up a book and started reading to me. I gently~~gently, I tell you!~~demonstrated the correct way to pause at the period between sentences, as she was rushing through them and stringing them all together.

Sweet, charming Zoya immediately became a brooding, darkened mess. Her hair fell into her face. She put a scowl onto it. She grabbed the couch pillows and a blanket and headed under the table. She growled, she hissed. She wore this mood for a whole half hour. At least. It may have been longer.

I made my case for reconciliation and then let it go. One cannot spend too many hours being wrapped up in this kind of thing. I proceeded to make myself breakfast, and Wolfgang came downstairs in due time to eat as well. We had a grand time while Zoya continued to brood until a different activity diverted her attention and she snapped out of it almost immediately.

Several hours later, as she read a book aloud while I folded laundry next to her, Zoya matter-of-factly explained to me, "Mom, I'm pausing at the end of the sentence, because that's what you do when there's a period."

Sigh.

Countdown to our anniversary ~ 20

The 31st of this month will mark the eighth anniversary of our marriage!

I am terrible at celebrating things. I have tried to get better, and this has been a much better year than years past, making a "bigger deal" out of birthdays and that kind of thing. Sadly, this tendency does not flow from me the way it does with some people, even when my heart is very happy and full.

So, in honor of my husband, I am going to do a blog countdown to our wedding anniversary. Alex reads this at work so I pray it will bless and encourage him when he comes in from the cold for a break every now and then.

In contrast to my somewhat uninspiring romantic sensibilities, I would love to share the most romantic thing Alex did for Valentines Day one year. He wrote a unique and precious message on every single valentine from a Winnie the Pooh package and taped them all over the house. I still have them and they are cherished!

Happy anniversary, honey. I'm so thankful the Lord brought us together and that we can spend the rest of our lives as husband and wife.

Babies make homeschooling even more fun!

These last few weeks have gone by so fast that I have found it unmanageable to blog weekly about our activities and events. Here are the ones that have stood out. Bethany has found homeschooling suits her desire to constantly imitate her siblings and pretend she is really big. Sometimes, she makes excitement where there otherwise wouldn't be. ;) She recently discovered she can climb onto the table! So much fun for everyone except mom!


The kids took Costco boxes and made pizzerias out of them, as well as a collection of fake money. Wolfgang and Psalm set up two different shops and tried to outsell each other. It gave us a great opportunity to discuss the financial elements of running a business and ways to entice customers to spend more money.

This tied in with our Konos unit (which I will explain in a different blog) about attentiveness. One of our activities was to look at advertisements and discuss those elements which grab our attention and make us more likely to pay attention to the ad.

We learned about verbs, nouns, and adjectives. Rather than matching pictures with adjectives on a worksheet, the kids made a stack of adjectives and spent an hour hunting for things in the house on which to stick them. Bethany proved helpful in this instance.

(that says "soft" with a little drawing of a blankie :)

We have been acting out verbs and journaling about our activities. Writing is "hit or miss" with Wolfgang right now. Sometimes, he doesn't mind at all and really enjoys it. Other times, it's like pulling teeth. Same goes for math.

We played "Grandmother's Attic" and made it all the way to "M" before the boys pooped out. Zoya and I made it to Z!

We drew and labelled parts of the ear (inner and outer), discussed terms like "concentrate" and "dilute," and wrote lists of things that distract us.

We set up a science experiment when Wolfgang told us that light causes evaporation. I asked Wolf how he would prove that. He put a cup of water near a light source and a cup of water in a dark drawer. He wrote a hypothesis and, once we determined that both cups lost water, wrote a conclusion about the experiment. Then, we did experiments involving heat to determine if that may have played a factor and he wrote his conclusions about that as well.

Altogether, I'm very pleased with how things are going. I will attempt to blog more this evening if wakefulness permits.

Happy Iditarod!

One of our intentions this year was to bring the family out to Willow to see the start of the Iditarod. We had a lovely day today driving the 60 miles or so that it was for us and being a part of it. Here are some pictures. I took lots of video too which I will post as soon as I am able. Also, here's a link to Michelle Mitchell's post about the ceremonial start of the race in Anchorage and some more information about the race itself.

Next time, we will get there earlier, bring chairs, stick the baby in her little sled (Alex let me talk him out of it and it would have been a great idea!...sorry, honey.), and bring more food. Thankfully, some generous souls were passing out hot chocolate and lollipops!

As much as this race may, in fact, be PETA's worst nightmare (I saw more gorgeous fur coats than I ever have in one place in my life!) the dogs were having such a blast. They live to run...each pair of dogs had its own volunteer handler to keep them from running like mad down the trail before their turns came. And for the record, the truck full of dogs below is full of LIVING dogs...I think there might have been some confusion about that when I sent these to the family. :) The musher below is Jeff King!

Diary of days

Here are some notes from last week that I had saved in a draft.

A full Monday

I woke up around six, did my devotionals, and prepared the homeschooling table. The children woke up by 7:30 and we delved right into the material I had planned. We don't usually start this early but I seized the moment as they curled up on the couch. We spent perhaps an hour learning about map terminology, discussing "legends" and "landmarks," discussing the names of the continents and what the differences are between a country and continent, identifying the equator and prime meridian, and discussing hemispheres (and pertaining geometry). The concept of "landmark" proved more challenging than I thought it would.

Wolf is working on his geography belt loop with Cub Scouts, so our social studies work revolves around his Cub Scout guidebook. Since hanging up these massive maps, we are all still gazing upon them frequently. Psalm loves Libya. He has since decided that our flag should look like Libya's as well, as it is solid green and easy to color. I was surprised when reading the book Togo that the twins immediately asked if this was about the country Togo? Well, no. The dog. :)

We had breakfast and used "Leading Little Ones To God" for the first time, which is a devotional for parents and children. That means it has a story, Scripture references, questions to discuss, a related hymn, and a memory verse. I had, frankly, been prayerfully "winging it" in this area and wanted to get a more structured plan. We started with chapter 35 so we would learn about the resurrection right around Easter time. In the meantime, we will spend time with this chapter every morning this week, Wolf will copy the verse daily (and the twins if they want to) and do a journal entry of some sort, such as a picture with a story or response pertaining to it.

We read "Little Red Riding Hood" and discussed the different variations of ending we had encountered. All of this occurred with occasional breaks for creative play involving leggos and Transformers. Bethany woke up. Psalm started composing letters to Noah so Wolf and I took turns spelling words for him. I ultimately mailed two for him yesterday with a third in waiting to go out today. Hubby and Zoya headed to the library at one point after he woke up (it was his day off! yay!).

While they were gone, we read our "Five in a Row" book, How to Bake an Apple Pie and See the World. It is fairly short for a FIAR book, with a charming set of instructions about where to go to get the individual ingredients for the pie (since the store is closed). The book takes us to France, Italy, England, Sri Lanka, Jamaica, and Vermont. Whenever we read a book multiple times, we draw a little graphic to go with it and then post it on our world map. In this case, we made six apple pies and Wolf and Psalm learned where these countries were and stuck them up there.


They breathed deeply and dreamily discussed how yummy those places would smell now. I learned where Sri Lanka is, as I had no idea until reading this book. (My mother would be proud, as she has complained since I was young that American kids don't learn enough geography.) :). The rest of the family returned and we had lunch of pasta with salmon.

Alex and Zoya had returned with some books on tape so the twins and Wolf started listening to those and following along in the book. I headed to the university computer lab here in town to do my own schoolwork and Alex took the kids to the park. The days have been stunningly beautiful. At this point when I left, I was comfortable in a t-shirt and had to shield my eyes from the sun. This time of year is so hopeful! I believe the snow will go away! I believe summer will come! They took a neighborhood friend with them, Wolf's best friend who lives near here. I studied foreign policy. They played.

Upon returning home, Wolf, Zoya and I headed to Cub Scouts. We were there to decorate for the awards ceremony this weekend and get Wolf all signed off on the electives and activities he had been working on. Rather delightfully, the theme is "All Around the World" or something like that so the kids got right to work sitting at a huge banner and drawing "international" things. It was a wonderful tie-in with the material we had been working on. As we left, the stars were bright and clear and we found the Big Dipper, the "Drinking Gourd" as we had learned about recently, and discussed how that was the very same constellation that had guided escaping slaves on the Underground Railroad, etc.


Blue and Gold Ceremony

Today was the day of the Blue and Gold Ceremony for Cub Scouts. Wolfgang received recognition for both Bobcat and Tiger patches and associated beads, as well as his geography belt loop. We recently read a book called Jalapeno Bagels which featured two recipes at the end so we opted to make Chango Bars for our international dish for the ceremony. Sighs of contentment all around...they were seriously good. Every recipe we've made from a children's book thus far has been very, very tasty.

Shop class with Dad

I read an article months ago which was written by a father looking back on his upbringing. He wrote about how his parents used to save all their broken appliances and equipment and let him go to town taking it apart and putting it back together again however he could. It helped him to understand more about how things work and to get comfortable with using tools.

I have, consequently, been rubbing my hands together in anticipation for whichever appliance would bite the dust next. Turns out, the vacuum met its end in a way that made repairing it impractical and uneconomical, so Alex and Wolf held shop class in the garage. (Ha! I should do some of this too. I could use some handy skills.)

Next on the curriculum is a stereo which has breathed its last tune.

I think the baby's about to wake up...better go.

My free and fun blog

I'm breathing a sigh of relief that, after a foray into the world of domain names, web hosting, CSS script (which I'm pretty sure didn't exist back when I learned HTML programming), and all the drama, I have returned like the prodigal that I am into the warm embrace of Blogger, my original blog host. What a relief! My patience came to its end when my new blog up and disappeared last week. I'm fairly certain this was a bug between Wordpress and GoDaddy working together that caused this to happen but, as my content's HTML was intact, I imported my old Blogger blog, copied the HTML from the new blog, and moved all of it into this one. I'M NOT MOVING AGAIN!!

I'm sure I could have figured out how to fix this situation. I was sorry to leave my online homeschooling scrapbook behind as well, as I found the most beautiful template for it (I copied the HTML from that one also and incorporated it into this one). But blogging just wasn't fun anymore. Wordpress is so long-winded compared to Blogger and I don't have a lot of extra time to spend coaxing it into submission so I can write a stinkin' blog. The steps here are efficient and straightforward.

At this point, I still need to label the new posts with their tags so they can be found more easily within the blog. I spent about a moment pondering whether to keep and point "alaskafamilyblog.com" to this address but, come December when it's time to renew it, I really won't want to spend the money on my domain names. Time to send out yet another email announcement about a new blog address. Also, I am very saddened to lose the wonderful comments that had been left at the other blog.

Thanks for visiting!