First two weeks of school behind us with only one Mom meltdown

(This is pretty much what Bethany does all morning under the table during homeschool.)

We finished up our second week of school early, taking off Thursday and Friday because Noah leaves on Monday for his dad's house. Both he and I have been more solemn than usual. I am very sad to see him go. :(

I follow a few blogs, and humorously, pretty much all of us homeschooling mothers hit the wall on the same day, struggling with children who were exhibiting bad attitudes and disobedience to the extreme. I had a good long cry in private, quite sure that homeschooling was an incredibly stupid choice...I could be living the high life, relaxing at home while my children do God knows what, as long as it was at school and not in our house. Our home would be magnificently clean, with children messing it up for only a few hours at the end of the day. My voice would be well rested. I could go to daily Mass every single morning without fail. Etc., etc.

Instead, I was having a battle of wills with Wolfgang who claimed I was ruining his life by insisting he practice writing, Psalm who couldn't even believe that Transformers is not a formal part of our school curriculum, and...well, I can't complain about Zoya in any way. She is extremely motivated and helpful. Today, while trying to get out the door, I found that she had dressed the baby in warmer clothes and put a jacket on her. She thinks ahead and finds ways to be helpful.

Alex told me, "Hon, we will have days like this. You don't think every single kindergarten teacher right now in the schools is completely freaking out that they will have this job for the next nine months?" That cracked me up. No kidding. Even our calling can feel like a prison at times.

I took Zoya with me to Mass that afternoon over at St. Patrick's on Muldoon, which has one every weekday at 5:30. I had never been there but had kept it in mind because that timeframe is very appealing. What a treat. Their daily Mass is in a small chapel crowded with fervent parishioners; I loved the green shamrocks on the white vestments. :) Our own priest was the celebrant. It is definitely not Bethany-friendly (one wonderful thing about our church is that we have a "cry room," which is a chapel into which the Mass is transmitted via speakers yet we can be in there with the doors closed while she quietly plays) but for days when I need a later Mass, that one is a much appreciated option.

The readings that day spoke right into my heart, from the book of Matthew:

Jesus said: "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You pay tithes of mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier things of the law: judgment and mercy and fidelity. But these you should have done, without neglecting the others. Blind guides, who strain out the gnat and swallow the camel! Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You cleanse the outside of cup and dish, but inside they are full of plunder and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, cleanse first the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may be clean." (Mt 23:23-26)

I felt very moved by this reference to the "outside of cup and dish." My failed efforts to force compliance to my rule during school that day humbled me. I wanted my cup (homeschooling) to look a certain way but my children were thwarting my progress. Consequently, I was dealing with them without mercy and feeling unwilling to bend to accomodate their personalities. Somehow, sheep came into the whole thing. I don't remember how this revelation came about, but I left Mass thinking to myself, "I am a sheep, and the children are sheep also. Jesus is the shepherd." My job was not to rule over them but to point to Him and follow Him alongside them.

Altogether, a very tough day. But it was not without grace, as I noticed a distinct shift in my approach thereafter, feeling more faithful and trusting that I can let go of the control, and the changes are instantaneous~~we all work better when Mom is not being a control freak. Shocking, I know.

So, here's how it went the last couple weeks, mother-freak-out notwithstanding. Our original schedule has been adjusted now that we have "lived it." We start with sit-down work: handwriting and math. Then, we head into either literature or history, depending on what day it is. Then, after a break, we all sit down again and work on memorization, music, and the twins' Five-in-a-Row (FIAR).

The kids all memorized Robert Frost's "Rain," most of the first stanza of "The Owl and the Pussycat," and the first 4-8 lines of the Nicene Creed. Wolf has been doing logic and word problems for math as I am waiting for our charter school to let us know when his new curriculum is ready to be picked up. The twins have been independently working on Saxon level 1 with little input from me. We spent two weeks with the first FIAR book, Mirette and the High Wire. I decided to spend two weeks per book because then I have time to read other books with them to complement the FIAR selection. Wolfgang and I read primarily from Our Island Story and Hallelujah Handel. We enjoyed listening to Handel every day.

Noah had free reign in the kitchen and cooked us an outstanding after-school snack every day, often with help from one of the children. The twins spent hours making their own rosaries, pouches and wallets from kits, while Wolfgang custom-designed a rosary using different beads (we haven't actually made it yet). We've also been learning traditional hymns and it's quite precious to hear them become more confident in their ability to sing. Wolf worked with Rosetta Stone (German) and so far, I feel lukewarm about it. The kids did oil changes with Dad. We took a field trip to the AK Museum of Transportation and Industry out in Wasilla which all of us enjoyed for a variety of reasons~~the children enjoyed each and every beat up plane, train and automobile, while I got more caught up by the wall of pioneer aviators and the many black and white photos of dead miners and the like.

One thing noticeable about the last couple weeks was that we were very busy in the afternoons. I look ahead and feel it will be vital to keep our days loose and open, perhaps picking just one day a week in which to do appointments, errands, etc. But life is not going to get any less busy. We have a great deal on the calendar coming up. The kids will have some art classes. Wolf will be doing Boy Scouts (Psalm goes with him); Zoya will be participating in American Heritage Girls while the boys are doing Faith Formation at church, then all three will be doing Catechesis of the Good Shephard on Saturdays, which is like Sunday school except Montessori-based; we're also hoping to be involved with the Chicken Incubation and Embryology club; Alex and the kids will be attending concerts or plays on many Fridays this year while I am leading a table at MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). I feel I'm forgetting some things...oh! I'm hoping to secure some pet turtles to supplement our Minn of the Mississippi studies.

On one hand, I feel trepidation at all this busyness. On the other hand, it will be very good for us to get out of the house and around other people. In fact, I practically cried at the American Heritage Girls parent meeting. We were so socially plugged in to our old church but that is really not the case with our new one. To hang out with other grown-ups and their kids made me feel so thankful that we will have lots of interaction not too long from now. I like being with people. :) Who knew I was such a socialite?

The thing about summer here is that everything comes to a halt. All the regular activities that happen go from September until May. Then, families scatter to travel, camp, and so on. By this time of year, I feel more than ready to get back in the swing of things. Here are some pictures.